I’ve Done It

Not only am I back, but I’m posting twice in one night.

I have done something awful. I have managed to really, really piss off someone whom I care greatly for, and would very much like to be my girlfriend. I did this by totally misunderstanding something that she talked about online, and by letting that make me feel hurt and jealous when I had no right whatsoever to feel that way. I need to fix it and I don’t quite know how. At the very, very least I owe her a gigantic apology. The problem is how to do that without sounding like it’s about me, because I have unintentionally been saying a lot of things from that perspective.

And that’s not all. What’s worse, while I have tried to understand her and understand her needs, I have neglected to actually do anything to prove to her that I understand. She has given me chances. Again misunderstanding things, I have instead backed off. And when she has asked for and needed space, I have instead smothered her. That’s a bad old habit that comes from personal anxiety and impatience, I know.

I believe I have done a hell of a lot of damage. Unfortunately, a lot of it is probably irrepairable at this point. I just want to make it right and don’t know where to begin.