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I'm A Mess

Posted on: Tuesday 06/26/2018 01:54:55

I'm all relaxed after the trials of the move. I've been swimming a lot, working on my already decent tan, kayaking, star gazing and having fires at night, taking walks, and some great dinners out. I just started talking to my brother again this afternoon. He had made himself scarce. I asked him to go fishing tomorrow morning. He told me he couldn't as he had to go for some tests that my sister told me he had today. I'm not sweating it.

I heard the results of the township inspection on my house. There is a shit list of things to be done. Most are simple and cheap. What's not is required railings around both porches, about $2k worth. Also, some electrical crap that requires a licensed electrician. I smell some dollars on that one, too, The closing is pushed back because of these things. I'm not sweating that, either.

I got a letter from the Burlington courts about being in arrears on my alimony. I sent one back explaining my situation, and a partial payment. I suppose a notice of a contempt of court warrant will arrive next. again, not sweating that one. Come get me. I won't be missing work, and can't pay shit if I'm behind bars. Maybe I'll get that new tattoo while inside.

Today's fun was, while getting out of the kayak today, I slipped and fell in the mucky water. I cut the shit out of my left palm on a rock. Being diabetic, it bleed like crazy all over my clothes. Oh year, and I have poison ivy on my arm and numerous deer fly bites from wading the creek over the weekend. And this would all not be complete without some chiggers.

That's it for now. I hear the local coyotes howling and tipping not too far away, and I still have to gt Bosco out to pee. Good Tuesday.

Good Christ

Posted on: Wednesday 06/20/2018 04:02:15

I can talk about it now. When I got back to Ohio from NJ on Sunday night, I was seriously ready to have a breakdown. I can just now talk about it. The reason? My brother. For the five days of travel, packing, loading, and odd tasks, he acted like a complete asshole, was continuously nasty and mean to me, and was of very little help. Keep in mind he wanted to come along to help me.

Example: Thursday. I got up at 8:00 and started continuing to pack. He sat in my recliner texting and talking on the phone to his ex-wife. Back story: They divorced ten years ago. They are in a pattern of getting back together, then after a few months having a big fight and splitting it off again, saying they are really through this time. After a couple of weeks of not speaking, they get back together. the major thrust of this is she uses him for his prescription pain killers, muscle relaxers, and sleep meds. She is addicted, and so is he. He was forcibly taken off them after his kidney transplant, but is getting them from some unethical, shady doctor.

Anyway, I mentioned a couple of times that morning that I had too much to do to be stopping to go have a sit down breakfast as he like to do. I suggested that maybe he go out, picking something up for our breakfast, and bring it back to the house. He ignored me. Finally, at 11:00 he got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he took me up on the breakfast suggestion but after he was gone, it clicked that he didn't ask what I wanted. He came back an our later. He carried in from Dunkin, a dozen donuts which he knows I can't eat, and one coffee. I was aggravated. Then he sat at the kitchen table for 45 minutes eating his donuts and drinking his coffee while continued packing. He didn't say a word all this time, but I could tell he was pissed, probably about my not wanting to go out.

The rest of the day? He was to paint the laundry room walls. He was in the basement 4 1/2 hours, during which he was on the phone with you-know-who a bunch. I went down after that. In all that time, he only did one ten foot section of wall. He didn't use the concrete sealing paint I bought for the purpose. It smelled. He instead used some old interior latex wall paint (that smelled a lot for him, too). On basement concrete block. And it looked like a second grader did it. He said I should have bought him a professional respirator mask for the painting.

Yeah. There was also when I gave him my debit card to use when we filled up the Uhaul and his car. He filled the damned thing with premium. And on the way out there, he bitched me out for not giving him the $3 for the TP bridge toll before we started because he doesn't carry cash?!?!?!?!?! That was after his $50 tank of gas I paid for. The last straw was on the way back. An hour after we stopped for lunch I pulled into a rest stop to take a leak. He pulls up beside the truck and screeches his brakes, window down. He yells at me through the window, "NOW what is IT?!" I just politely told him I had to use the bathroom and would only be a minute. 

The whole five days was like that. My loving brother. I was ready for a melt down by the time I got to my sister's house Sunday night. I talked with my sister and BIL for a while as they tried to calm me. I love them and appreciated what they did, especially when what I wanted to do was drink myself silly alone, cry, and fall asleep on a lounger by the pool. I needed a long rest, but had to get up very early to get the truck unloaded into the storage unit. It was a good thing a few friends helped with that. I was still out of it, and oh yeah, my brother backed out of that last minute. He suddenly had to go for blood tests.

I am still shaken some by the experience, but treated myself today. I slept late. My sister made me whole wheat pancakes for a late breakfast. I was in the pool from 12:30 to 4:00 with my sister and her girlfriends. I didn't touch the phone all day. My BIL said it best tonight: "You can forget about it now. You are back here where you are loved, welcomed, and can relax and feel at home.", to which my sister added, "Our brother is a dick."     

No True Words

Posted on: Tuesday 06/12/2018 02:55:20

I have no words to properly express my emotions right now. I just got a copy of the walk-through inspection on the house. It appears the inspector does not want me to sell the house.

Let's look at the biggest ticket item: Yard not properly graded away from the house. Anyone without a severe eyesight deficiency can see it is well graded. In the back yard for example, pour water on the patio where it meets the foundation. The water runs off towards the yard. Fill the hose I have curled up at the foundation. Shut the water off, raise the loose end, and stretch the hose out to the middle of the yard. Set it down and watch how fast the water runs out. It runs towards the back fence, not the house, doesn't stand. 

I have never had a water issue in the basement, no foundation or floor cracks or shifting. The sump hole has never been so much as damp. Of course the pump doesn't work. I've tried regularly to run water into the hole to give the pump a test. The whole drains immediately! This wasn't an issue when I bought the fucking house. Why now? If it's something that changed in the past 28 years, fuck them.

Should I have 1/4 of my fencing removed, and my landscaping, curb, sidewalks, and patio destroyed by a bulldozer then pay to have it all replaced and sodded to satisfy this fuckwit? Should I spend nearly every penny I have on this project, default on my mortgage, and file for bankruptcy to satisfy this twatwaffle? I would have to go on welfare and food stamps, if I didn't first get jailed for not paying my alimony.

Other things: Only 5% of basement ceiling joists showing. The 5% is in the laundry room. The rest of the basement is finished, i.e. dropped ceiling. Again, you blind dickhead! Can't determine if an oil heat tank s buried in the yard. Township records of my occupancy permit inspection state "no tank found". Get off your lazy ass, go down to the hall, and have the township clerk read it to you since you are still fucking blind! I won't go into the rest.

Being suspicious minded. I can prove nothing yet, but Mrs. Buyer has a friend with the same last name as Mr. Inspector. Said friend lives in an adjoining town from Mrs. Buyer. Comparing FB photos, they are much more than online friends. There are numerous photos of the two at parties and so on, hugging for photos, and faces smashed together for selfies. Again, no real proof yet, but I smell a rat. should I find proof, I will demand the inspection be invalidated due to partiality and bias.

This all will kill the closing date, which really fuck me. I realize I may be going off half-cocked. I don't know what recourse I have on some of this or what next steps should be. I will speak to my realtor tomorrow after I have cooled off. And in case I haven't dropped enough F-bombs in this post, in the words of Johnny Rotten, "Fuck this and fuck that, fuck the fucking, fucking rats"...

Still Good

Posted on: Monday 06/11/2018 03:38:55

Today was the second day we went to the Columbus Arts Festival. We has VIP passes, so we got free: entrance to the art gallery, T-shirts, drinks, food. I bought a ring made from a 1908 silver quarter, and a leather necklace that has engraved on the silver pendant, "with every walk in nature one is given more than they seek". 

I am enjoying my time here. Everyone is getting along great. It's like a long vacation. However, I know a time will come when I will feel I have overstayed my time, even if my sister and BIL tell me that's not the case. I will probably not have enough money left after the move and closing on the house to put a down payment on a new place right away. I know at some point I will be itching to get into my own house, and I don't want that to affect my moods. The time and money required to get my alimony stopped, and the wait time for my DSS to be approved are going to have a major impact on this.

I am going through the mental task of making a list of things I don't want in the storage unit. Those will need to go on the tail of the truck. Another list is things I will need later, like winter clothes, that will be designated for the front of the unit. Those will need to go in the nose of the truck.

I have no plans for tomorrow. I like those days the best. Have a happy Monday, all.


Party On, Garth

Posted on: Sunday 06/10/2018 03:28:56

Today my sister hosted a graduation party for the son of a long time family friend. My sister babysat the friend, and then her son. The teens had a good time. No alcohol was allowed.

At 5:00, it became "adult time", which just ended at 11:00. Of course, alcohol was mandatory. We had a huge thunderstorm. The whole back of the yard flooded within 15 minutes. It looked like there was a pond in the middle of the yard. Afterwards it quickly drained. I could hear the water rushing in the creek from the patio, 40 yards away. I walked down, and the creek was nearly over its four foot bank.

The highlight of "adult time" was passing around balloons for that helium voice thing. A ten-year-old girl, whose parents let participate, treated us to two Lady Gaga songs, and one by Katy Perry. Ten. I did All About That Bass, and TNT. Yes, embarrassing, I know.

At the end of the night, I was in a room with eight people, including myself. Two, whom represented the publicized 53 percentile, heard "Laurel". Six, whom were in the 47 percentile, heard "Yanny". I hate math and statistics.

Tomorrow, we hit the Columbus Arts Festival downtown. I'm looking forward to perhaps buying some interesting art pieces, and breaking my diet by patronizing food trucks. I'll pass on the elephant ears due to all the powdered sugar, but watch out corn dogs and deep fried pickles on a stick.  

Totally Baffled

Posted on: Friday 06/08/2018 02:35:12

A year and a half ago I connected with a friend of a friend on FB. As we became more familiar, we went from FB only, to email and WhatsApp, as well. We became very close. Over two weeks ago she unfriended me, and stopped responding to email and WhatsApp messages. 

I didn't know what to think, then began to think the worst. She has a very violent ex. Every year on their wedding anniversary, he breaks a restraining order and tries to get his hands on her. The first time he did, he beat her badly. She was pregnant, and he punched her so hard in the stomach she lost the child. The second time, he broke into her apartment with two friends. They held her as be beat her badly, stabbed her in the shoulder and slashed her abdomen with a knife. In front of their young, autistic daughter. Their anniversary was three weeks ago, and she sent me photos of the psycho being arrested in the street in front of her apartment. Based on that, I have been watching the news for her area online, hoping to not see something terrible. I haven't.

Since I came here she had mentioned in an email that perhaps my moving and new life didn't include her in my mind. When I had heard nothing for a week, I emailed the friend of a friend. I have known her somewhat closely for about 14 years from a depression support web site. I asked her in a FB message if she had heard from my friend, or knew of anything happening with her. I told her I was getting pretty worried. She said she knew nothing. 

It's been a week since that exchange with that friend. I went to message her again today. I found that she too has unfriended me, just in the last two days. I am totally puzzled. I don't know what the hell happened, or what I might have done to prompt this. Losing the long-time friend like that out of the blue is really strange. I just don't get it. 

Evening Fun

Posted on: Thursday 06/07/2018 02:16:52

We had quite a stir here this evening. While relaxing on the patio, my BIL decided to let his two rabbit hounds out for some exercise. Luckily (or maybe not so much), he had their GPS collars on them, because they saw a rabbit at the end of the property and tore after it. They bolted along the creek line, then into the bordering brush and trees. We could hear them howling as they chased the rabbit. They went a long way, and we could hear them going nuts. Usually the rabbit would circle back, and the dogs would, too. He was showing me their path on the GPS unit.

They started to come back as the rabbit did, but picked up the original track, probably because the rabbit fooled them by crossing the creek in the process, BIL lost track of Buddy due to weak signal from his collar. Then the GPS showed that Ace stopped dead. They don't do that. It was thought that he may have gotten caught in a coyote snare, so my BIL walked the path to find Ace while whistling for, and calling Buddy. Buddy caught up to him, and we lost sight of them both. He found Ace over a mile away. His track had stopped because a family who saw him was holding him. My BIL's conversation with the man, as he related it to us:

Man: Is this your dog?
BIL: Yeah, it is.
Man: We saw this antenna on him and didn't know what to do.
BIL(holding up GPS unit): Yeah, I'm tracking him. This is how I knew he was here.
Man: That's sure some thick brush you came through to get him.
BIL (holding GPS up again): No shit. I was paging his collar. If you would have let him go when you heard me calling him, he would have come to me, I wouldn't have had to go through the thick brush. 

So, BIL headed back to the house. I could see the three of them a ways off through a pair of high powered binoculars. Then Buddy disappeared back into the brush about 80 yards from the house. His collar was only now working to the degree that he could be tracked, but not paged. BIL stood in the yard calling him. He was back on the original rabbit trail, then started to head back. He repeated that, and then took off to where the two had gone before. Buddy's tracks then stopped a half mile further. 

BIL was mad now, and night was coming on. He got in his truck, following the GPS signal. He pulled into a gravel road at a farm where the GPS showed Buddy was. He got out and called him. The barn door rolled open, and out came Buddy. Those people had been holding him. My BIL was a mess when he got back- clothes full of burrs. He got a thorn a half-inch long from a hawthorn tree completely embedded under a thumb nail. It will get infected bad even if he gets it all out. He had to cross the creek twice- In jeans, socks, and shower sandals, all of which were soaked and covered in algae. 

His night was ruined. A tip: always make sure the tracking collars are fully charged. Good night, all.

The Good Life

Posted on: Tuesday 06/05/2018 02:12:16

Everyone here is all to familiar with my life the past few years. As a number of people predicted, life is getting much better. The house is sold, with the closing set for the end of the month. I will have all of my stuff moved out here in a couple of weeks.

In the mornings, I no longer rush to get up and fight traffic to get to a job that my superiors make a living hell. Now I get up whenever. I take Bosco and my morning coffee onto my sister's spacious patio, and sit by the pool. I don't hear traffic, military and Coast Guard aircraft, trains, or most times, not even people. I hear the water in the creek burbling over the big rocks. I hear and watch dozens and dozens of birds, everything from hummingbirds, to woodpeckers, to the occasional bald eagle. There are many evenings around the stone fire pit with margaritas, start gazing, listening to the howls of the coyotes, and the yips of their pups from across the corn fields. Farmland dominates this general area.

I am doing a lot of activities with my family and a few old friends. I am doing a lot of reading. I am finishing about eight I was part way through, and have read several new ones. I am also doing a lot of writing, and for once the number of what I consider good poems outweigh the crap. I have offered my services to the local school district (where I went to school) for teaching and tutoring in creative writing for grades 7-12 starting in the fall school year. I am also contemplating becoming a volunteer with the parks and wildlife department. Especially enticing is if I volunteer at a state campgrounds, I get the exclusive use of a camp site season long.  

A family friend whom is a good realtor is looking out for houses that fit what I want: 3-4 bedroom, garage, one or more acres fenced, no neighbors, surrounded by farm land that is not up for development or any kind of rezoning. According to her and the mortgage person I am working with, I should be able to get that for about $130-150k, with property taxes of only about $1k, a fourth what I pay now. A pre-approval is being worked up for me at present.

So, all the stress, pressure, anxieties, insomnia, and depression are quickly melting away. I believe the management at my company thought they were eliminating a problem- me. They can't possibly have a clue as to how well this is working in my favor. As the saying goes, I lost a battle but one the war. Karma has swung quickly in my favor. Now it just needs to quickly swing against a few individuals who deserve it. I'm not worried about that though. I believe, and I know it will happen at the right time. 

Interesting, I Think

Posted on: Saturday 05/26/2018 03:55:55

I am in Ohio now while the house is being shown, getting some things in order. Incidentally, there are two offers on the table. Aside from that, I have something interesting and sort of funny to relate. Tonight, my sister and my BIL took me, his brother, his mom and step dad, and his sister and her wife to a place called Benny's. It is a huge restaurant/bar in the middle of nowhere. It has an inside, and a large outside with a second bar and a stage. The band tonight, Reganomics, plays 80s hits, and always pack the people in.

I happened to notice at the table next to us a lady, I'd say in her mid-30s, who reminded me of a friend from poetry circles, but- she was gorgeous. I thought nothing else of it until I noticed a few times that she was eyeing me and quickly diverted her eyes when I caught her. We got into that thing of eyeing each other, trying not to get caught, but getting caught anyway. I tried to break out of it, but as time went on, we were making eye contact and both smiling. Keep in mind, I was trying to eat pizza, drink a beer, and keep engaged in the conversations people were drawing me into. This included my BIL's sister's wife trying to persuade me to dance with her, to which I finally succumbed. Damn my family for putting this in FB. 

Anyway, I became aware at one point that this woman apparently couldn't take her eyes off. I watched out of the corner of my eye. She was talking to her friend a mile a minute, and glancing at me about every tenth word. The waitress brought her and her friend each a beer. Before I knew it, she turned her chair towards me. She quickly chugged her beer, and then grabbed her friend's beer and chugged it. Then some shock. She suddenly slumped some in her chair, grabbed her knees (she was wearing jeans), spread her legs wide, feet in the air, and making strong eye contact, let out a loud, "Woo-Hoooo!"

I know Lerm would have sprung from his seat at this point and jumped on her, but I was somewhat embarrassed (though pleased), as family and people around us witnessed this. Her friend, whom was also obviously embarrassed, quickly grabbed her hand and pulled her from her seat to the dance area. They disappeared. A while later, they came back to their table. She was dancing the whole way. The friend grabbed their purses, took her hand again, and lead her somewhat unwillingly towards the outside exit. 

As I watched them start to go, another surprise. She broke from her friend, turned and saluted me, lips puckered. Her friend got her hand again, and as she was pulled away, she blew a kiss at me. I just winked and smiled. Now, I am a realist. I know she was at least buzzed. And I know a 30-something would not seriously be interested in me. Still, it was a nice ego boost while it lasted.

Going There

Posted on: Tuesday 04/24/2018 04:30:34

I am going to take a moment from everything I have going on to say something that many will likely find ridiculous. Here goes.

This is about Thor Ragnarok. The true story has been distorted for the purposes of the movie. I know, as I am as you may know, Norwegian. The real, accurate story is a part of the mythology of the ancient Nordic people. It was a part of their belief system, and in large part their explanation for things for which they didn't have scientific knowledge, like thunder. The same holds true for the ancient Romans and American Indians. From interest in my lineage, I have studied such stories in Norse mythology, and many are actually more bleak than exciting. Read Grottasongr online, for example. 

The movie was not meant to perpetuate the true myths, but to entertain a largely kid and young adult audience. And of course, to make millions of dollars for rich people. I imagine the people of Greece probably don't want Ares, Apollo, and Artemis turned into Marvel or DC Comics superheros for the big screen. Perhaps the same for the Mexican people with the Aztec and Mayan gods of their ancestors. I imagine were they here now, my Viking ancestors would seek out the movie producers, director, and actors. They would disembowel them, pillage their plush homes and exclusive neighborhoods, and burn them to the ground.

Thank you for hearing me out.