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No True Words

Posted on: Tuesday 06/12/2018 02:55:20

I have no words to properly express my emotions right now. I just got a copy of the walk-through inspection on the house. It appears the inspector does not want me to sell the house.

Let's look at the biggest ticket item: Yard not properly graded away from the house. Anyone without a severe eyesight deficiency can see it is well graded. In the back yard for example, pour water on the patio where it meets the foundation. The water runs off towards the yard. Fill the hose I have curled up at the foundation. Shut the water off, raise the loose end, and stretch the hose out to the middle of the yard. Set it down and watch how fast the water runs out. It runs towards the back fence, not the house, doesn't stand. 

I have never had a water issue in the basement, no foundation or floor cracks or shifting. The sump hole has never been so much as damp. Of course the pump doesn't work. I've tried regularly to run water into the hole to give the pump a test. The whole drains immediately! This wasn't an issue when I bought the fucking house. Why now? If it's something that changed in the past 28 years, fuck them.

Should I have 1/4 of my fencing removed, and my landscaping, curb, sidewalks, and patio destroyed by a bulldozer then pay to have it all replaced and sodded to satisfy this fuckwit? Should I spend nearly every penny I have on this project, default on my mortgage, and file for bankruptcy to satisfy this twatwaffle? I would have to go on welfare and food stamps, if I didn't first get jailed for not paying my alimony.

Other things: Only 5% of basement ceiling joists showing. The 5% is in the laundry room. The rest of the basement is finished, i.e. dropped ceiling. Again, you blind dickhead! Can't determine if an oil heat tank s buried in the yard. Township records of my occupancy permit inspection state "no tank found". Get off your lazy ass, go down to the hall, and have the township clerk read it to you since you are still fucking blind! I won't go into the rest.

Being suspicious minded. I can prove nothing yet, but Mrs. Buyer has a friend with the same last name as Mr. Inspector. Said friend lives in an adjoining town from Mrs. Buyer. Comparing FB photos, they are much more than online friends. There are numerous photos of the two at parties and so on, hugging for photos, and faces smashed together for selfies. Again, no real proof yet, but I smell a rat. should I find proof, I will demand the inspection be invalidated due to partiality and bias.

This all will kill the closing date, which really fuck me. I realize I may be going off half-cocked. I don't know what recourse I have on some of this or what next steps should be. I will speak to my realtor tomorrow after I have cooled off. And in case I haven't dropped enough F-bombs in this post, in the words of Johnny Rotten, "Fuck this and fuck that, fuck the fucking, fucking rats"...

  • Fritz The Bootlegger Says:
    In Georgia, that’s basically a negotiating tactic. The inspector looks for issues with the house, the buyer uses that report to knock money off the price. Sump pumps are anywhere from $50-$150. Tell her she can take $100 off of the price.

    Or are inspections different in NJ?

  • kittenheel Says:
    Inspector's in bed with a contractor, and quite likely with Mrs. Buyer. I'd do some research and hire your own inspector. It sounds like his "concerns" will be easy to refute, and with video evidence I doubt he can get away with it. /homepage

  • lunamor Says:
    That sounds rotten. I agree with Steve, though - it's usually a negotiating tactic. When I bought my house, there was a ton of actual stuff that needing fixing, but I agreed to let them knock off $2500 at closing and I'd take care of them. But those were actual problems (I didn't know the inspector from Adam). Any chance you can get an independent inspector?

  • Fritz The Bootlegger Says:
    Is the buyer financing with an FHA loan? If so, those inspections are more thorough for different reasons. Years ago when loans were given to anyone, they weren’t thorough and people were buying houses that were falling apart or other issues. Now they don’t focus as much on some obvious things but rather on safety. Rotting trim that can allow water to get in. Trees that can fall on the house. I ended up paying a handyman $250 to replace trim and install a downspout that I didn’t have time to do, and another $900 to cut down a pine tree that was nearing the and could fall on the house. The tree wasn’t even on my property. The neighbor agreed to let me have it removed and even chipped in a little.

    Anyway with an FHA they’re more likely to look at a bad pump.

  • lunamor Says:
    Yeah, hadn't thought of that...our first house was with an FHA loan, and it was definitely a more thorough inspection than my next two houses.

  • Fritz The Bootlegger Says:
    I should point out that the buyer of the old house had financing through FHA. If I didn’t fix those couple of things he would’ve lost financing and I wouldn’t have been able to close. But it was cheaper than a $2000 carpet allowance.
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