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Please Kill Me II

Posted on: Tuesday 10/02/2018 09:18:12

So a replay happened again on Friday, only worse. I always use speaker on the phone. I hate having one hand tied down to the phone so I can't do other things as I talk. I was on the phone in the morning with the pension people. I noticed my sister standing at the kitchen counter in front of the pass, listening in on everything. She kept telling me to ask this and that. I ignored her. I'm trying to listen to someone, right?

When I got off the phone she was going on about the conversation, the excited and voice volume escalation again. She picked an actual argument over whether the person said I get a retroactive pension payment once the whole court business is done, back to the date I was booted by my former employer. The person said no, and she insisted they said yes. Like a dog with a rope toy, she wouldn't let go of it. 

Finally, she gave up and picked a fight with me about points in my court motion. She's never ready it. Along with that, she was also arguing with me about what the worker's rights lawyer told me about the severance and benefits package. She has not read the motion. She was not at the consultation with that lawyer. It happened a month before I moved out here. She didn't agree with what the lawyer told me about it being in my best interest to not take the package and take my former employer to court. She was not getting that if I lost such a law suit, which was highly likely, I would still have my pension and 401(k), but no health insurance, no severance money, and no way to get out here once the house was sold. I was very close to asking her when the last time was that she was involved in a divorce or job severance situation. The answer would be: never.

I again mentally, emotionally, and physically shut down. My BIL talked to me that night after she went to bed because he had seen a difference in me and knew something was wrong. I told I have been in a depression since the house closed, and everything negative that has followed made it progressively worse. I told him I learned years ago how to put on "the mask of normalcy" as a matter of self-preservation and survival. I was doing a good job of hiding my mental state on the outside as I can do, but my sister had pushed me over the edge, into melt down territory.   

He understood completely. I knew he did. She does the same shit to him on a regular basis. She was doing with she did with me out of love and concern, I know but, doggy rope toy. She doesn't know when to quit or back off. My mood hasn't gotten better until today.

Now for some good news, my sister got me to join the town senior's center(!). She gave me a big brochure on what the offer. I saw some good things, things you would not expect me of all people to be interest in: $5 hot lunches served at noon daily. Free exercise classes. Free classes in metal working. A private library complete with new computer and all-in-one printer. Tours of local attractions. Pool tables and pickle ball. Then I saw it: Seniors writing group. Just what I have been looking for. I am enjoying it, even though it means getting up at 7:00 on Mondays (I've gotten slack in my wake up times). 

The members said on Monday they wish there was more time for writing in the meetings, as we spend most of the time reading and commenting on each other's work. I suggested a free cloud-based blog site that could handle multiple members, like we have here. We could each post our work there and everyone could leave their comments, freeing up a lot of meeting time. They had no idea what a blog site is, so guess who spend six hours between yesterday and today building a site on Wix for us. It was rough since I didn't know that site, but it's now done. I like that feeling of accomplishment.

  • Fritz The Bootlegger Says:
    I think to need to get a halfway decent pair of earbuds and when you’re talking to an attorney just tell your sister you’re on the phone with an escort agency.

  • lunamor Says:
    I second that idea!

  • kittenheel Says:
    Yeah, there's bound to be another hands-free phone option that doesn't involve her being able to hear the other person's part of the conversation.

  • lermontov Says:
    I hate it - but I agree with Steve

  • Simon Says:
    This won’t help you with your sister’s listening in, Don, but what I do is to use the speakerphone as you do – so I can write notes or check things on my computer, etc – but I also have a pocket voice recorder on the table next to the phone, so I can check back on those little ‘Wait, did he/she say Monday or Tuesday?’ moments. It’s helped me out on more than one occasion. But you may have a better memory than I do!

  • Fritz The Bootlegger Says:
    I was mostly suggesting that because people who talk on speakerphone in public send me into a rage that can only be calmed by the immediate death of the offender. Of course this is not public, it’s your sister’s house so I don’t suggest murder. But you might be happier if she can’t hear your full convo.

  • lunamor Says:
    ^ This. Boss Sr. does it from time to time and it does my fucking head in, because I feel like it's because he wants everyone to hear how important he is. But then I want him to go away all the time anyway, so that's probably part of it. /homepage
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