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Updates At The O.K. Corral

Posted on: Thursday 10/11/2018 02:34:15

So, a few things this nasty, cold morning:

The friend I wrote about named Jake. He apparently posted on FB that the stroke somehow left him with very sketchy memory. He sees people listed in his friends section and either 1) recognizes only their name or face, but nothing about them, or 2) they are like strangers all together. He is trying to piece things together and wants people to contact him and try to refresh him filed memory. He sent a PM to my BIL's sister. He contacted her because her last name was the same as my sister's. He remembered a couple of things about her. Nothing about me, my BIL, or my BIL's brothers, although we were all in high school  at the same time.

My lawyer is killing me. I want to kill him. The court date for everything was supposed to be next Friday. Or so I was initially told. I got a letter in which he asked the judge to move it back a week to 11/19, "due to a conflict of interest". That date is five weeks way, not one. I emailed him asking for clarification, as the information was conflicting. He replied that the initial date was 11/19. I have the first letter to the judge and I am right. I'm not going to quibble and piss him off.

If their are no more delays in court, it will take the firm that handles the pensions and 401(k)s for my former employer several weeks to process the court paperwork. Then I am cleared to start getting payouts, BUT- there is a 30 day hold on the payouts. It appears I won't start receiving any money until after the turn of the new year. I am so screwed, as I will be completely out of money before then. You should be able to understand what this is also doing to me emotionally and mentally. I don't know what to do and am very near a breaking point. I've been independent since I was 18. Now at 60, thanks to my ex and my former employer, I am basically as poor as anyone could be. I feel shattered over the prospect of having to ask family members for loans. Talk about feeling like total shit. Please don't pity. I'm just telling and expressing.

Finally, as far as living here with my sister and BIL,after 6 1/2 months, I'm starting to get that feeling of, "the honeymoon is over".  There are a lot of little things. For example: As a diabetic and someone whom needs to lose a few pounds, I should eat small portions. My sister feeds me huge ones and is upset when I can't finish. Another example: I've recently discovered the luxury of an afternoon nap. Whenever I take one I get asked a lot of questions about something being wrong related to my meds because it's not normal for someone to sleep that much. One more example: Yesterday the pool guy came to close it up for the year. He drove way off their 1/4 mile driveway at one point and ran over the archery stand in the yard and mangled it. This was seen as my fault as I was the last one to use it. That's even though my BIL told me I can leave it out anytime I am going to use it the next day, too. I get the feeling there are other things that aren't being addressed with me.

There are a lot of little things happening like that. Part of it is likely that I am very used to living alone, so my habits and so on differ from theirs. Part of it is that for as much as she loves me, my sister is very domineering and wants to treat me like a kid, which I resist. She clearly doesn't like that. Part of it is they both insist that the bipolar makes me confused, overly-emotional and absent minded on many things. That is probably true to some degree, but not like they make it out to be. The prospect of having to deal with this for another year or more looms large. This is just one more thing, a new thing to deal with.

  • kittenheel Says:
    So once you get the funds freed up, do you plan to find your own place? I think I would, if I were in your situation. I love my family, but there is no way I could live with them. /homepage

  • Simon Says:
    Yeah, I’m afraid that the average family only has so much tolerance – and, as you say yourself, you have your own particular habits. I hope you manage to get it all sorted out.

  • lermontov Says:
    Sounds like hell!

  • knifeboy Says:
    Once I will get my funds I will have to start saving money for a down payment. Ahead of it I need to pay off my Visa card, and the Rebath/Home Depot charge for the bathroom remodel on the NJ house. That was something required by the inspector before we could close. It's something you face with an older home. Mine was about 70 years old. It's going to be a while. I'm not even being told what my estimated monthly draws on the pension and 401(k) might be at this point. In the mean time, I'm going deeper into the mental hole by the day. I can't wait to see my psychiatrist on Tuesday./homepage
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